still, im in my winter of discontent

literally. today, all of this snow instantly made me think god was shouting "hey Monica, your winter isnt over! fuck you buddy!"
i was thinking this on my way to work and it instantly felt like an epiphany. a huge realization wrapped in a slap across the face wrapped in a snowball. i tried to give it a positive spin, and thought "things dont just get better, you need to keep working at it, happiness and contentment dont just fall in your lap because the calendar says it's march"

fuck you brain.

im going to give the chairman away for a month, which is really hard. i feel like over the past few months i've lost some pretty important people, or pushed away some important people, or have been left by important people. basically my life has been void of some of the more important people. i understand that a kittycat is not an important people, but im really going to hate saying goodbye. im starting to realize that i have major attachment issues. two epiphanies in one day. ridiculous.

27 is a weird age. my early 20's were all about fun, and now its caught up with me. i feel like im running out of time to make myself into who i want to be for the rest of my life. i just want to clear my debts, work as much as i can, save money and move away for a year. i should have done this years ago, but if im anything, its a procrastinator. its so selfish, that im not willing to allow anyone to leave me, but when im ready to leave i have no qualms regarding saying goodbye.

i was going to delete this, but maybe it wont be so depressing if i end it with the purpose of this blog; memories of happy times

this is may 8th, 2010. the alley between donlands subway station and the only cafe. in the 3 years i've lived at oakvale i've gone through this alley 4-5 out of 7 days. ive watched it evolve and always meant to photograph it.

this alley displays the prettiest sunsets, and its litter and over growth is always picturesque.

i feel like I've missed a lot of great opportunities to shoot this alley during its evolution.

there was a good stretch in the summer where one of the shop's alley entrance was covered in the brightest green ivy, and it had the perfect pea green velvet chair strewn in front of its graffiti covered door. it looked like it had been designed.

the store was purchased and the idiots who purchased it obviously didnt realize how beautiful it was, and they cleaned it up.

i, unfortunately am an idiot, and i never took the picture. takes two to tango, i suppose.

jan 27th, 2011 - aids takes a picture of me, katya and a very frightened looking chairman.

fur piles and family meetings.

july 22 2009, sloppy night with my two best friends, olga and mary at absinthe lounge in hess.